Through the thick and thin of this theatrical school year, I've always been able to fall back on my Region and State piece. I've been working it for who knows how long. Didn't make Beauty and the Beast? Worked my piece so I could advance to state.
Region was on Thursday. I thought I could easily take 1st or 2nd in my rounds. When they announced who was advancing to state, they said all the dramatic monologues at my school, me as an alternate. What? That doesn't even make sense. I am as good as them, why couldn't I go with them? The only way I could go to state, was if someone dropped out. Highly unlikely.
After the ceremony was over, I got the stuff from my locker. I was crushed. My monologue was about social work. Others were about love, suicide, craziness. Mine was social work. People don't connect to social work the way they connect to love.
I changed into real clothes and Shelley talked to me, saying things that could make this blow easier. I was just ashamed. I went home and cried myself to sleep. This "failure" had been happening all school year. Why couldn't I just pull through? Why couldn't I find a reason to keep doing theatre? I have to keep doing it.
It's the only thing I'm good at.
Friday morning, I mustered up what was left of me to do my math homework in the drama room. I'm too afraid to go anywhere else. I had barely walked in when Shelley told me to talk to him. I held my chin up, trying to show that I was fine now. He had the judges sheets in his hands and the tabulation scores in the other.
What was on the judges scores wasn't recorded on to the tabulation sheets. To compete in state you need however many superiors. I had enough. They made a mistake.
I am going on to state.
Oh! And I got 110% on my math assignment.
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