Sensible Eyes

I just remembered something!

It completely caught me off guard, and was shocking and fantastic.

It made me happy.

I suppose it is two things, if you want to get really specific.

I performed yesterday. It was Act 4, Sc. 3 of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet is deciding whether or not to consume the potion. I got into my element. It may be the one thing I am fantastic at, and probably the only thing that I'll admit that I am. It was hearing the applause. It was feeling your insides about to burst. It was wanting to laugh. It was wanting to cry. It was feeling the void, become filled. It was me finally being home again. I can't remember feeling that good, but it felt great. To know that every sensible eye is on you on that moment. Either they want you to succeed or trip and fall. They are at the edge of their seat, wondering, waiting. They are checking their scripts to see if you forgot anything. It was knowing. Simply knowing that I have something that people appreciate. I did not feel empty in that moment.

Then...

Today we were changing out of Track in the Girl's Locker Room. I had just spoken to Sequoia about Phantom of the Opera, so I felt inclined to sing. All I ask of You. Just that part when the Phantom sings. I am grimacing while I change out of my physical education shorts but keep singing. I sing it an octave higher, because I like the way it swirls in the air. I finish the Phantom's song. I had assumed that I had sung quietly; just to myself. Just then, Courtney T. told me I had a beautiful singing voice. That caught me off guard. Because when I think of beautiful voices, I think of Emilee, Olivia, Archuleta, The Bass Section and Mo TAB. As far as I am concerned, I don't fit into their standard of singing songs that can make football players ask you to sing for them. That is not me. When she told me I had a voice, it just kind of struck me. She could have been lying. She could have been kidding. And I accept that. However, if she meant it sincerely, I may owe her a ticket to Broadway or something if I make it that far.

These two events just filled me up with such great joy, I had to let it out, rather than in some other way, shape or form.