It Will be Okay

You know what?

I am done hiding and lying.

Mostly because most the boys in Chamber kind of all found out.

Some would say,

"You got the stuff?"

I would have no idea. Until they tell me they look through my bag.

The look of horror would come over me.

It's something I've been hiding for a while, but it's not my fault.

If it means taking what I need to make my gut better,

I will.

31 pills a day.

They are known as 'whole food supplements.'

I call them 'gut food.'

Their intention is to help me eat what I want, and me not get sick.

And while you say,

"You got the stuff,"

I'll be thinking of how dumb and one-sided you really are.

I've hid it this long,

telling only two people outside of my family.

After Chamber, though...

There comes a point to where you just want to give up.

There comes a point to where you want to say,

"I am a young and strong, beautiful, courageous fifteen-year-old-girl.

I am faithful and fearless most of the time.

I have to take 31 pills a day to make sure that I have a healthy future ahead of me.

I know this sucks.

I know I just want to give up sometimes.

But I know that soon, I will be okay.

While you make fun of me, I will not only be eating healthy,

I will be stronger than you, because I can put up with you.

Some times I am terrified of what my friends may think.

Some times I wonder why I even do this at all.

But then I remember that it's not supposed to be easy.

I have to handle my own trials, and you are not strong enough to handle mine.

Thank you for your consideration while you make fun of me."

I can deal with it now.

Because I know that soon, I will be okay.