I was once the girl that looked forward to girls camp. I was once the girl that wore her young women medallion everyday. I was once the girl that would scream her testimony. . . And people didn't like that.
People saw me as "self-righteous," "Mormon Molly." I would hurt people by telling them that the shorts they were wearing were too short. I would hurt people by saying they shouldn't be kissing that guy before they were 16. I would hurt people by living the gospel unashamedly.
Now I live the gospel quietly. I whisper it rather than scream it. I only think to myself their shorts are too short and I only think "why are they kissing so many boys so young?"
I am not who I was give or take a year ago.
I cannot tell if I have gained myself or lost myself. I do not know if who I am now is for the better. This is my senior year of high school and I want to live it for the better. No matter who I was or am, I will be different.
I will find those people sittin on the side and be their friend because I was them once. I will ask those people not to cuss because quite frankly, your mother shouldn't be kissed by a mouth like that. I will find the love of Christ even in a high school.
I will change for the better.
That's something I struggled with as well. The line between righteous and self-righteous is sometimes rather thin. To be honest, I used to be a lot more judgmental. I came to high school with the mentality that I would stand on a wall and cry everyone to repentance.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, I did not make any friends.
You don't have to be ashamed of the gospel, but you're not a bad person if you live it quietly. Everyone sins differently and sometimes it's just not our place to comment or correct.
I have learned that what matters most of all is that my actions are motivated by love and not pride.
Find yourself. Be yourself. There will always be haters.