Resolutions

I look out the window and expect to see immediate grassy fields and flowers littering the ground. Instead, I see a small glimmer of light so faint and far away that I have to squint in order to see anything at all. It appears to be a trick, this light, so I close the curtains and tug on the chain that turns on the light. This artificial light displays the room around me in a harsh, shiny pretense. Large, crude brick surrounds me on the floor and walls. The only things inside this room are the things necessary for me to survive.
Outside of this room, past the endless brick, is a moat filled with water so dense, some have drowned just from looking at it. If the water won't seize the trespassers, the alligators will. All of the standards moats keep an alligator or two around, anyways. Further, past the moat, the tower is surrounded by brambles and thorns oozing with poison. This poison doesn't kill people; it kills hope. If these do not convince someone to turn around and walk away, the dragon will. How did I end up here?
I put myself here. I grew the thorns and brambles to keep others away. I surrounded myself with water to keep me away from others. I built this tower to convince myself I was find. The dragon is a creation of fear and threat meant to keep me safe so I can piece myself back together. I built the tower because I had been hurt. My trust had been broken and shattered and hopes torn apart. I spend months in my tower hoping for hope, waiting to be saved when the only person who could save me was in the tower I built: me.
I wanted someone to overcome the brambles and thorns and make their away across the moat while conquering a dragon. I wanted someone to come to the tower and take me away from this despicable building created out of fear; I wanted someone to come to a building where there were no windows and no doors. My expectations is the stuff of hoax. All I am truly doing is successfully keeping others away. If I want to be saved, I have to take down the walls I built myself. I have to fill in the moat, pour pesticide on the brambles and thorns, and conquer the dragon. I have to be open to pain and fear and regret and rejection. I have to be open to hope and kindness and goodness and love.
In 2016, I am tearing down my walls and welcoming reality; I'm not the kind of princess who simply waits to be saved.