I've been in my new apartment for only a month and have been in school for the new semester even less. I live at work and in my car; the apartment is reserved for sleep, when permitted. No one really warns one, truly, of the exhaustion taken as a side effect when balancing full time work and school. I've been doing a full 40 hours every week at work doing a job that I do well but am underappreciated while doing a minimum of 12 credit hours.
I used to know what I was studying. I was an art history major, going into curator studies, hoping to own and design my own museum with the kind of pieces that would inspire people to learn. It would be fun, fresh, and exciting. However, now that Alexa is engaged, I've been helping with her wedding; it turns out I'm good at planning weddings. I am trying to choose between being a wedding planner and a museum curator. One works with people and one works with things. Depending on the day, one job feels preferred over the other.
The Roommates are nice, though. It's been tricky trying to find my place living there; the pecking order isn't established and everyone does their own thing. It's interesting to watch everyone interact, though. Being here only a month, I still consider them strangers but they watch movies with me and we make brownies together.
Family and politics shouldn't mix. As a rule, I feel families should keep their political views secret and just talk about the weather, at least if you're an extremist. I hope that I am solidly in the middle; I've picked what I like out of each political party (much to my chagrin) and I act on that. It's focusing not on the party but on what I believe will genuinely be the best for America, the people, and the future. The present is eternally temporary. I want to consistently be using the present as a stepping stone in order to create a better future. Right now, I believe that we are not okay. There are a lot of things going wrong and a lot to fix-which is exciting!
The Women's March the other weekend was inspiring; it brought me to tears in the middle of a Macy's store. I might not support everything that was done or the way things were exhibited by each participant of the march, but I believe in the cause. Family members of mine disagreed. A blanket statement was given to the women, calling them "nasty," a name that President Trump gave them. A close family member made a statement on their social media, stating these "nasty women had better plan to be single for a long time" "who wants to marry a nasty . . . woman?" This was disheartening. If it weren't for a car accident I had the week previous, I would have marched.
I couldn't stay silent. I had to say something. I sent a text to this family member of mine, explaining the purpose of the march. This march is for fighting violence, reproductive rights, LGBT rights, worker's rights, civil rights, disability rights, immigrants' rights, and environmental rights. If wanting everyone and everything to be treated properly made me a nasty woman, then I would take it. If wanting these reasons was the reason I was single and have been my entire life, then fine. I accept.
They tried to fight back, by saying their post isn't about me and that if anyone hurt me, they would fight back in my name. But in the end, I had to let this person know that if I wasn't their daughter, they wouldn't care and wouldn't feel this way. If a blanket statement is placed on people, you can't decide who is in your Ven Diagram. "Family members are okay, but everyone else is damned to hell." It's been a lonely week but I know that believing and fighting for the cause is worth it and so much good can be done from it.
Overall, it's been okay and I'm doing fine. I say "I'm fine" like a broken record without a change in tone. It's hard to tell if I feel the way I do simply because I'm tired or because of the chaos the world provides. Regardless, I've had to take a step back from doing things I normally enjoy doing so I can make sure I am doing okay and I am managing everything the way I should. Between school, work, and depression, it's been a fight that I plan to win. There's a whole world out there and a lot of things that need fixing. I'm going to step to and make my mark. Who knows? Maybe I can make a difference.
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